The Semester of Change

So I have had one of the hardest semesters yet. The funny thing about being in College is that I am both having the most fun of my life and the most painful times as well. This semester everyday in Calculus and Java Programming I was patiently awaiting those words "and next time..". Not because I wanted the next time to come soon but because I loathed my time there. Those 16 Monday afternoons in Programming Lab were some of the longest times of my life. Everyday while sitting silent I was inwardly screaming for an escape. Now comes one of those times where I finally have my answer.. and it seems like its not enough. I have my escape yet somehow its not entirely liberating. These two classes (Cal and Java) were the bane of my existance this semester. As they were both requirements for my major they left me wondering whether I am in the right field (Computer and Information Systems). Always, I had thought that with my skill in many things Technical that it was a given that I would go to college and study something to do with IT. Now throughout this semester, I began to not be as sure as I once was. The struggles of Academia was only one part of the hardship of the semester. I also frequently would for whatever reason feel alone, even if I was arouind a table of friends. Describing the rationale or lack thereof for this is difficult because I find that words begin to fail. I think it would be adequate to say that I was not satisfied with who I am or where I need to be. Part of the reason could be that I don't know who or what I should be in the future. But I'm praying that God in his goodness will show me the way. This semester frequently I would fall, struggling with feelings of inadequacy and the formentioned feelings of loneliness. But, recently I've begun to think about this some more. Being significantly introverted the best way for me to deal with something is to write it out or think about it. This may frustrate some people because I find it very hard to express myself in spoken word. Conversations don't come easy and thus it may be hard for some people more inclined with the formentioned skills to get to know me. Some of you (if people even are going to read this) may be interested to know that when I return to Mississippi College I plan on declaring Graphic Design. On Friday I will be leaving for Atlacomulco, Mexico to serve there helping with their computers, rosetta stone software, teaching english, and whatever else the ministry may need. Prayers, thoughts, wishes, thoughts of wisdom / encouragement / empathy are all welcome.